Last weekend, Elf mentioned that I had stated that he had exhibited "the most ridiculous example of man buying"
I had seen in a while...without, of course, going into detail. I was willing to let him get away with this until I saw his article today about Miller
, and his desire to be "annoyed" with him regarding Miller's discussion of impulse buying and signaling.
Okay, Elf, now you've done it.
Because last weekend, Elf displayed the most egregious example of impulse buying I've ever seen, one which we stereotypically assign to woman, but interestingly enough in our relationship I rarely do.
He bought a leaf blower.
We were coming back from some event or other, and on the way back home, he saw a sign for a yard sale. "Wanna take a quick look," he asked.
I wasn't particularly interested, but yard sale season had arrived and, being a woman, I'm supposed to be enthusiastic, nay giddy with desire, so I said yes. Besides, it was a beautiful day, and it was a few more minutes away from teh kids.
Not surprisingly, the sale didn't have a huge amount there of interest. Mostly kids toys and clothes and such for children far younger than Kouryou-chan and Yamarrashi-chan. I spotted the leaf blower as we walked up to the sale and thought about pointing it out to Elf...I knew that he had been interested in one. But I figured that if he wanted it, he'd look it over himself. If not, we didn't really need to be spending money right now.
Well, we finished our perusal, decided there was really nothing of interest, and got back into the car, which was parked in the driveway. He pulled out, then glanced back at the sale as he started to drive away....and jammed on the brakes.
"Hey, they have a leaf blower!"
"Yes," I said, "didn't you see it? It was right in front."
He then immediately turned off the car and started to jump out. "Elf!" I called out. "What the hell are you doing?! We're in the middle of the road!"
"Oh," he replied. "Well, it's all right, there's nobody coming."
Aghhhh! "Elf, you can't leave the car here. Pull it over to the side of the street."
Grudgingly, he did so, then trotted back up to the driveway. He grabbed the leaf blower, ran his hands down it's loooooooooooooong black blow pipe....and told them woman he'd buy it. "How much is it?"
My jaw dropped, not at the price (which was more than reasonable for a used leaf blower which starts at $50 or so), but that he'd make a decision like that without any questions or anything.
"Uh, Elf," I called from the car, "shouldn't you ask if they have a manual? Is it electric? Does it come with the cord?" Can you test it to make sure it fracking works??
He held it up. "It has a cord plug-in just like all our other ones...our cords will work with it." Totally missing the point, of course. The lady mentioned that she wasn't sure if she had the manual, and wouldn't know where to look. Am I the only one who keeps all the manuals for every device in my house in folders?
"I'll take it." Elf handed the $10 over, then hopped back to the car. I glared at him.
"I can't believe you just did that," I growled at him. "That was the most disgusting example of...of..."
"Man-buying?" he input.
"Yeah," I muttered.
Later, he went out and plugged the thing in. It seems to work fine. At least, he had no problems with it. After he was finished blowing the walkway and both driveways, he proceeded to blow the small private road we share with the other four families on the block. I walked out to him at that point.
"Enjoying your substitute penis?" I asked.
He grinned enormously, then stuck the thing between his legs. "Oh, yeah!"