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Parental Advice Sought: Bedtimes
I'm a bit at my wit's end regarding this issue. For several years now, Elf and I have been putting Yamaarashi-chan and Kouryou-chan to bed at about 9 pm, for a 6:45/7am wake up (6:45 for Yamaarashi-chan, 7 for Kouryou-chan). In the mornings, Yamaarashi-chan wakes right up. Kouryou-chan does not.
This has led me to believe recently that Yamaarashi-chan could go to bed later, say 9:30. We tried that for a while, but unfortunately had problems with Kouryou-chan constantly getting out of bed to see what her sister was doing.
In the past couple of months Kouryou-chan has been exhibiting bedtime behavior that is driving me nuts. She refuses to go to bed, regardless of whether her sister goes to bed with her, constantly gets up and harasses us or her sister, and generally behaves like she is not tired at all. In the morning, she continues to act like she is sleepy and tired. But now I'm wondering whether her morning behavior is "sleepy" behavior or "I'm not a morning person" behavior
Tonight we tried something different. We allowed both to stay up until 9:30. It resulted in them staying up until 9:45, actually, because they were both catching up on some chores. It's a little after 10, and Kouryou-chan is *still* acting like she isn't tired, getting up and saying she is bored, wants to find a toy, needs water, etc. I am so sick of this I'm ready to just tie the kid to the bed and ignore her for the rest of the night!
What experience do you have, if you are a parent with a child near Kouryou-chan's age (8 years old), with bedtimes, specifically with how long your children sleep at night. Do you think that the 10 hours we give Kouryou-chan is enough? Too much? Should we ratchet it down to 9 hours? Yamaarashi-chan could easily, I think, go to sleep at 10/9:45 and have a good night's sleep...but I don't know about Kouryou-chan. The two year difference can be a big one.
Any advice/thoughts welcome.
This has led me to believe recently that Yamaarashi-chan could go to bed later, say 9:30. We tried that for a while, but unfortunately had problems with Kouryou-chan constantly getting out of bed to see what her sister was doing.
In the past couple of months Kouryou-chan has been exhibiting bedtime behavior that is driving me nuts. She refuses to go to bed, regardless of whether her sister goes to bed with her, constantly gets up and harasses us or her sister, and generally behaves like she is not tired at all. In the morning, she continues to act like she is sleepy and tired. But now I'm wondering whether her morning behavior is "sleepy" behavior or "I'm not a morning person" behavior
Tonight we tried something different. We allowed both to stay up until 9:30. It resulted in them staying up until 9:45, actually, because they were both catching up on some chores. It's a little after 10, and Kouryou-chan is *still* acting like she isn't tired, getting up and saying she is bored, wants to find a toy, needs water, etc. I am so sick of this I'm ready to just tie the kid to the bed and ignore her for the rest of the night!
What experience do you have, if you are a parent with a child near Kouryou-chan's age (8 years old), with bedtimes, specifically with how long your children sleep at night. Do you think that the 10 hours we give Kouryou-chan is enough? Too much? Should we ratchet it down to 9 hours? Yamaarashi-chan could easily, I think, go to sleep at 10/9:45 and have a good night's sleep...but I don't know about Kouryou-chan. The two year difference can be a big one.
Any advice/thoughts welcome.
no subject
-- have an in-bed reading time every night. Lately we've loosened it, but for years Stone went to bed at 8:30/9/9:30 but had thirty minutes to read. The benefit of this is that if the kid gets out of bed excessively, they lose the reading time entirely and go to bed *earlier*, so that may motivate her not to abuse the time so badly. Yet you get to move on to your chores and email at a reasonable time.
-- tie bedtime to behaviour. Have some set action in the morning that is fairly non-invasive, such as dropping a marble in a jar every time she requires intervention. At night, every marble is a minute off her bedtime. (Don't move her sister's bedtime of course.) I use this with Stone today. If he's too surly in the morning, his bedtime gets docked 15 minutes. He's old enough to manage it pretty well these days.
As for amount of sleep, I don't think that's predictable. Everyone is different, and it changes at different times. Enough sleep this week may not be enough next month, ESPECIALLY for kids. When and how the sleep happens may be an issue too, and there's little you can do about that when school is in.
Good luck! Stick with the rituals I know you already have, make it as consistent as you can, and know that it's a struggle for lots of folks.
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