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I could smell it before I touched it. My fine, $200 black Italian leather boots....soaked with cat pee. I was furious.

"No!" I raged.

"What??" asked a confused Elf.

"I'm going to kill that cat!"

"What did she do?"

"She peed on my good Italian leather boots, that black furball! Where is she?!"

"Oh, I guess it matters now when she pees on something of yours," he threw back.

"Yeah, something I actually wear," I returned. "Tell me again why we still keep that cat around?"

He grasped my shoulders and drew me close. "She's a good example to our children," he murmured. "Someday, they'll be choosing our nursing home."

I growled. "If I'm ever that old and pee on their good Italian black leather boots, I hope they kill me too!"
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