Homemade pie crust...you will die!!!!!

[omahas]

I'm done with it.

I've spent the past two fucking days trying to do this properly, and over my lifetime, I've never gotten this right.

Never, in my existence, have I *ever* gotten a fucking homemade pie crust to NOT FUCKING SHRINK!! Not from scratch, not from a refrigerated dough!

I'm finished with this bullshit. For all of you in those stupid ass forums who wax on and on about how you can't figure out how people like me can't do a pie crust correctly because it's *so easy*...GO TO HELL.

Elf is off to get me a pre-made pie crust. Hopefully, it won't shrink while cooking the damn filling.

Comments

[shaterri.livejournal.com]

I just want to say: thank God I'm not the only one. I have never had any luck whatsoever with making pie crusts, to the point where I've mostly abandoned the idea and gone back to pre-made. I may try again sometime, but only in a case where I don't care if I trash the pie or not. Good luck with the filling, at least...

[omahas.livejournal.com]

Do you have problems with shrinkage, or is it something else?

[srmalloy.livejournal.com]

If your crust is shrinking, my guess is that you're getting too much gluten forming in the dough, and it's tightening up when you bake it. You want to use ice water when making the dough, keep it as cold as possible, and don't overwork it once it comes together, all of which slow the formation of the gluten network. One solution to the problem of gluten formation that I've run across is to use cold vodka instead of ice water to bring the dough together; the alcohol in the vodka won't cause the gluten network to form, and it bakes out in the oven, increasing the tenderness of the crust. A recipe from the November 2007 issue of Cooks Illustrated can be found here (http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2007/11/cooks-illustrated-foolproof-pie-dough-recipe.html).

[codeamazon.livejournal.com]

Neat! Similar notion : Add 1 egg yolk and 1T lemon juice (or vinegar for savory pies) to the crust. The acid and protein act similarly.

My breakthrough was realizing that cutting in most of the butter with a food processor until it's like cornmeal, then the last bit until those are pea-sized, then hand-mixing the liquid, almost always works.

Too bad after three moves and no crusts in almost two years I couldn't find my food processor lid. The crusts were 'Ok', but a bit too hard and crunchy instead of tender.

[omahas.livejournal.com]

I've also seen several sites mention the egg yolk method...some put water or milk with the egg too. However, it's always been presented to me as a method to seal the openings made with the fork. Which didn't make much sense to me, since the whole reason for making the openings was to allow air to prevent puffiness in the first place.

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

You know, my Gram T (who always made the best pie crusts and seemed to do so easily) insisted that a tablespoon of vinegar was the essential secret ingredient and you simply could not make a pie crust without it.

[omahas.livejournal.com]

You're not the first person to mention the Vodka method to me. I read about it on a site as I was trying to research ways of doing this better. I may very well try it out.

My biggest problem with the gluten idea is that this time around I was using a refrigerated pie dough...right after I finished defrosting it, I put it directly onto the pie plate (glass) then actually put it back into the fridge for a short bit of rest before putting it into the oven (foil and pie weights in tow). Still didn't work.

Which isn't to say that refrigerated dough works the best anyway.

[srmalloy.livejournal.com]

Something you might want to do for experimentation is what my mother used to do with excess pie dough -- roll it out, press it into a pan (or onto a sheet pan), brush lightly with butter, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, and bake. It takes a lot less time to cook than baking a pie, and you can see how well you did with the dough without investing all the other parts of a pie.

Depending on the problems you have, you might also want to go to the Good Eats Fan Page and look up the "Crust Never Sleeps" episode (http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/Season2/EA1B04.htm) to see a method of balancing tender against flaky and the techniques he uses for getting the dough together.

[omahas.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the ideas. I'll try these out during the holidays. Plenty of opportunities for baking pies. ;)

[lisakit.livejournal.com]

Gram also made oversize pie crusts and let them rest at room temp for awhile (and IIRC they did shrink a little). Then after putting the pie together she cut away the excess leaving a slight overhang.

[hydrolagus.livejournal.com]

Have you tried the cheater recipe that uses oil? There's no cutting in so the dough doesn't get tough. It's what I use and folks tend to like it. The "correct" methods have never given me crust I'm happy with.

[cindygerb.livejournal.com]

Ick, taste bad!!!

[hydrolagus.livejournal.com]

I disagree. Folks usually eat the pie bones when I use it, which is a good indication of a tasty crust.

[grum]

Huh.. could you use melted butter if you prefer a butter crust but want to use liquid fat?

[codeamazon.livejournal.com]

You'd probably need to clarify the butter first, or you'd be mixing in "oil+water".

[cindygerb.livejournal.com]

I gave up on homemade pie crust long ago, for many reasons

The Gordion solution:

[laplor.livejournal.com]

Mine shrinks too, so I make it way too big so that it hangs out over the edge of the pan.

Tips below about keeping the dough cold and handling it as little as possible help too. I actually freeze mine, then pop it in a preheated 450F oven and then immediately turn the oven down to 350F.

Re: The Gordion solution:

[omahas.livejournal.com]

Was this the method that you used for pre-baking, or did you not even pre-bake, but just add the filling and bake straight from freezing?

Re: The Gordion solution:

[laplor.livejournal.com]

I usually make a bunch of pie shells at a time and freeze them empty (or filled with fruit). For a fruit pie, I sometimes drop the fruit into one and then invert another on top and put it straight in the oven. I cut holes in the top about the time that I turn the oven down.

For a baked shell, I take a fork and poke the crust as soon as it thaws enough. I sometimes need to kind of pull the edges out over a bit too at that point. I've heard of using dry beans on top of foil to hold the pastry in place, but I've never actually tried that.

For pumpkin pie, I put the filling in the frozen shell and pop it straight into the very hot oven. The filling seems to help hold the crust in shape. I usually put foil under the pan in case of dripping, and cut it long enough to wrap around the edges in case they brown too quickly.

My pastry recipe is pretty simple, and makes a LOT:
Perfect Pastry
10 1/2 cups flour
4 1/2 teaspoon salt
½ cup sugar
4 1/2 cup lard or shortening (or half and half)
1 ½ to 2 cups Tablespoons cold milk (or water)
Mix salt into flour. Cut in lard or shortening. Sprinkle with milk. Mix lightly with a fork until dough clings together and cleans easily from the bowl. Makes 10 double crusts

[orcaarrow.livejournal.com]

From what I heard pie crusts are among the hardest things to do in all of baking. Good luck.

Re: Homemade pie crust

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

I think homemade pie crust just aren't worth it. I know some people do them but why bother when I could be making more pies.